Tag Archives: coach

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Three Commitments For Parenting a Leader

Do you really want your child to be a leader? I posed this question a while back; it received a notable response, and it remains one of my most popular posts. Where do we stand as parents in the responsibility of raising leaders? Weigh the question carefully. Consider the contrasts between raising a leader and a star. Do you really want your child to be a leader?

I hope you answered yes, but I will understand if you didn’t. Leadership and popularity rarely go hand in hand, and leadership requires a lot of hard work. For me the answer is simple; I want to raise leaders. I want my children to be prepared for anything, to make a difference, and live a life of purpose.

If you really want to help parent a leader, you need to make three clear commitments.

1) I will educate my child about leadership. Leadership really needs to be taught. It amazes me how many people don’t understand this simple truth. If you want your child to become a leader, surround her with leadership resources. These can be books, audio, video, and so much more. This includes the comments you make about leaders in front of your children. This includes the leadership examples you take within your community, church, school, and work. If you don’t serve a leadership role, your child probably won’t either.

2) I will provide my child with leadership mentors. A mentor is the greatest gift you can ever provide for your child. Mentors can arrive in the fashion of a relative, a coach, a teacher, an advisor, or many other roles, but don’t take it for chance, and don’t assume these people are mentoring. Set it up. Contact someone you admire, or talk with your child about possibilities, and then meet with them and discuss what you are looking to accomplish. I will include a future post about how to do this, but know this: Mentoring Works. A recent study demonstrated that a teen with a mentor is 46% less likely than their peers to start using illegal drugs. For me, sports, Scouting, and my family surrounded me with lots of authentic mentors that provided me with the one on one discussions I truly needed. Mentoring must be one-on-one, consistent, and have a clear purpose.

3) I will encourage opportunities for my child to lead. If you want your child to lead you must allow them to accept leadership roles and encourage them. It may require some extra driving and scheduling responsibilities on your part, and may even create some unwanted drama, but leaders are made during moments of discontent, not harmony. They will not get it right the first time either. They will need to make several attempts at it. With the proper support, education, and mentoring your child will fail their way to becoming a successful leader. Sadly some students finally receive an opportunity to lead, but have not received any education or mentoring about leadership, and fail so badly they vow to never lead again. I understand I need to listen to my child about the types of leadership roles they are interested in, and at other times I will need to encourage possible leadership roles for them.

Leaders make leaders of others, and parenting is one of the most important leadership roles we may ever serve. I hope will join me in raising a leader and give great thought to how you can provide the education, mentoring, and opportunities of leadership for your child. I look forward to reading your comments.

 

Kelly Croy is a chalk artist and professional speaker.

He has entertained and amazed audiences across the nation including corporations, schools, churches, conferences, and anywhere people come together to be entertained and inspired.

Please consider booking Kelly for your next event.

www.kellycroy.com

1-800-831-4825

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Action: Leadership Series Part Seven of Seven

Take action

If I could sum leadership up in a single word, it would be a difficult task, but it would have to be ACTION.

Leaders speak when others remain silent. They stand up when others remain seated. They right the wrongs of the world, and create something that never existed before, simply because it was needed. Leaders recognize their part in the world, and understand they have a responsibility to others. They seek to serve a greater calling, and fill their life with a genuine purpose.

Leaders are willing to take a chance to make a change. They risk criticism. They understand leadership is no popularity contest. They ‘get’ that people might not appreciate what they’ve done, and dislike their words and actions. But they understand that not trying is worse. Leadership isn’t really about them.

You can possess every element of leadership I have mentioned: attitude, communication, wisdom, vision, tenacity, and authenticity, but if you don’t follow it up with the final ingredient, ACTION, nothing will ever happen. Nothing.

Leaders not only hear the call to lead, they answer it.

I have decided early in this life that I cannot possibly be right 100% of the time, and probably not even most of the time. I cannot control what other people think about me. I will make mistakes, but I will not allow that to deter me from taking action. While this may be the shortest article on Leadership I have ever posted, it is perhaps also the most important. Leaders take action.

Kelly is an inspirational speaker, author, and artist.

www.kellycroy.com

Click to email Kelly questions about presenting at your event!

1-800-831-4825

Kelly Croy is a chalk artist and professional speaker. He has entertained and amazed audiences across the nation including corporations, schools, churches, conferences, and anywhere people come together to be entertained and inspired. Please consider booking Kelly for your next event.

 

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Tenacity: Leadership Series Part Four of Seven

Part Four of Seven on Leadership: The Seven Commitments to Answering the Call to Lead

Tenacity! What an unusual word! But I love saying it out loud, and I love it even more when it is used to describe someone. (Especially me!)

You want respect? Develop tenacity, the ability to never give up, be discouraged, or quit. I can think of few greater qualities in a person. Seek the thrill of a challenge.

Tenacity is within every person who has ever accomplished something great. It’s the most important quality of any hero in a book or in the movies. You must enjoy the thrill of a good challenge.

Leaders finish what they start. They finish it even when doing so is no longer convenient and requires some incredible effort.

I found out long, long ago that I simply cannot always be right.  I will make mistakes. I have decided, however, that the mistakes I do make, will always be made in attempt to make a positive difference in the world.  I will never make the mistake of inaction. There is no such thing as failure.  There is succeeding and there is not trying. Each failed attempt is a step toward success. Maybe a tiny step, but a step none the less.

The secret to his success?  Keep trying.  Seek the thrill of a challenge.

The word leader comes from the concept of being out in the front. In fact, one of the oldest leadership principles is: Lead from the the front!  As obvious as this principle is, sadly it is in fact one of the most ignored.

Throughout history the leaders were the ones who led their men in battle from the front, exposing themselves to great danger in the process. Seeing their leader out in the front inspired the soldiers to give their best, extinguish their fears, make sacrifices, and most importantly become a leader themselves.  When one leader would fall, he would be remembered fondly as a legend, and another would rise up in his place.

Typically war is long with many a battle lost. Leaders need tenacity to fuel themselves and those they lead to fulfill the vision, achieve the goal, secure the reward, complete the quest.

Tenacity is the fuel in the belly of leaders.

Tenacity is gained by a true belief in the vision you are leading everyone toward.  You can’t fake that. It’s assisted certainly by confidence and courage, but it also has much to do with personal pride.

Commitment and loyalty are two fading qualities in the modern world.  I think that is why we find tenacity in so few leaders.  We see many qualified men and women give up in the face of adversity because it got hard, it became unpopular, or it was going to take too long.

Tenacity is built with every decision no matter how small.  You discipline yourself into having high levels of tenacity. It’s partly physical; you need to work out. It’s part mental; train your mental endurance. Don’t stop short of any goal no matter how small and you will build your tenacity.

The greatest attribute of tenacity in a leader is that it spreads!

You remember the game Simon Says: everyone does what Simon says to do.  Well, a lot of people think that is leadership.  There is this mentality that whatever the boss says everyone will do.  In reality, everyone does what the boss does.   If the boss comes in early, everyone is a little more willing to do so.  Same thing if the boss stays late, picks paper off the floor, and rewards people for their efforts.  This is also true if the boss comes in late, goes home early, and ridicules.  People do what their leaders do. Don’t quit, and neither will your team.

Develop your tenacity each and every day.

Kelly is an inspirational speaker, author, and artist.

www.kellycroy.com

Click to email Kelly questions about presenting at your event!

1-800-831-4825

Kelly Croy is a chalk artist and professional speaker. He has entertained and amazed audiences across the nation including corporations, schools, churches, conferences, and anywhere people come together to be entertained and inspired. Please consider booking Kelly for your next event.


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Why ‘On My Honor…’ Still Matters: The Importance of Keeping High Standards


This week’s news of Brigham Young University’s suspension of basketball phenom, Brandon Davies has surprised and shocked the nation. Many were upset by the decision to suspend the leader of the nation’s number 3 basketball team just days before March Madness begins, but not me. I am proud of BYU’s enforcement of such high standards. I applaud their action.  It is an example that will serve us all well.

Bad behavior among athletes at both collegiate and professional levels has become accepted.  Hollywood bad boys and girls like Charlie Sheen and Lindsey Lohan dominate television, press, and the internet.  No one wants to be anyone’s role model any more. People don’t want consequences, they just want left alone. It’s a private matter. I’m not hurting anyone but myself. I’m special. I’m the exception to the rule. Move along.

I beg to differ. We have an obligation to our families, friends, colleagues, and communities to maintain high standards. We owe it to those who came before us, and to those who will follow after us. We should always give our best, live by a creed, and draw lines in the sand that we will not cross. Ever. But if we do, we need to accept the consequences and atone. It’s not easy when mainstream television reality shows sell the concept to win at any cost.

We begin with high standards but allow them to dissipate over time. With each success and failure we lose sight of the standards we hold ourselves and others to. In Scouting we recited our Oath and Motto aloud.  It was a commitment we made in front of each other verbally each week. It was stitched into our uniforms, embossed on the covers of our books, and displayed in posters on the walls of our meeting rooms. It was a regular part of our routine and life. I can still recite the Oath, Points, and Motto. More importantly, I still follow them.  I know they make a difference.

Davies’s actions, however, were not criminal and would not be seen by the majority of the country even as wrong. (He had premarital sex with his girlfriend.) Brigham Young enforced its honor code this week that forbids it. They chose not to turn a blind eye to a breach in their policy, which in this case may very well cost them placement in the NCAA Tournament.   I cannot even think of another college that would enforce this rule.  Still, it is their rule. Their incredibly high standard.

What happens when you set and keep incredibly high standards? You achieve incredible accomplishments.

Do you have an honor code? Does your family have standards? Do you know your company’s policies on misconduct? What rules have slipped into that gray area of indifference?

Renew, refresh, restore, and reinitiate your personal high standards. Surround yourself with people who hold you to a higher standard. The Marines and others known for their incredibly high standards incorporate them into their emblems and logos. They follow them, enforce them, and reward them. Do you?

I hope BYU and the hard working athletes on the team that kept to the rules do well. I hope Davies returns and becomes one of the great, memorable players of the game. I hope BYU’s high standards become the example of class for universities across the nation to follow. And I hope everyone looks at this news story as a personal opportunity to set or renew high standards for themselves.

We need to become better men and women, not lower our standards. Applaud and recognize those who maintain high standards. Call out those who do not, and ask them to renew their commitment or exit.

What an amazing example of leadership!

Kelly Croy is a chalk artist and professional speaker. His presentations have entertained and amazed audiences across the nation including corporations, schools, churches, conferences, and wherever people come together to be entertained and improve their lives. Please consider booking Kelly for your next event.

Please visit Kelly’s website to book him  for your next event.

www.kellycroy.com

info@kellycroy.com

1-800-831-4825

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It’s Not Time for That… Yet.

A good friend of mine is a successful writer and speaker. His books quite simply change lives. An aspiration for any writer. An aspiration for any speaker. An aspiration for any person.

Every now and then I contact my friend with an idea that I truly believe he must act on immediately. He casually responds nearly every time with, “Great idea, but it’s not time for that yet.”

Brilliance.

I’m blessed with Attention Deficit Disorder, better known to all as ADD. Blessed? Yes, because it is one of the muses that feeds me such creative, out-of-this-world ideas. I love it. One of the drawbacks, however, is of course the fact that I get so many ideas that I want to jump from project to project and then I don’t finish things. I never, ever, refer to my ADD as anything but a blessing.  I mean that. It’s as much a part of me as my blue eyes. In fact, I try not to refer to my ADD at all. (I love it so much I feel it’s like bragging about how much you can bench press. After all, I consider ADD one of my super powers.)

When all of these creative ideas start flooding my brain and pushing out the project that I really need to buckle-down on and finish, I just need to remind myself that it’s not time for that, yet. And I do. My brain starts  screaming, “Let’s do this!” I just say to myself, “It’s not time for that brain.” I take out my journal and I write down the amazing idea that just popped in there. I date it. Sometimes I even do a very quick sketch or two of what it’s suppose to look like or do. I give the idea a bold heading  so when I flip through my journal I see it.  Then I skip a line or two and write why I need to return to the project I interrupted and what it will mean to me and my family when I am finished.

It’s very important that you complete that last step. Once that new idea pops into your brain it steals some of the excitement and energy from the project you are working on. You have to invigorate that passion and energy into your project again. You will need to recapture that purpose and energy. Then immediately jump back into that project and make some real progress. Remind yourself of why you want to finish, what it will mean, and the date you want it completed. Being successful is not just knowing what to do, but knowing when to do it.

Here are the steps to take when your project gets interrupted by a new, wonderful idea:

  1. Remind yourself, “It’s not time for that, yet.”
  2. Take out your journal and write down your new idea quickly with a big, bold heading, and a quick sketch if needed.
  3. Reinvigorate your current project with a brief journal entry highlighting your passion, interest, and what it means to complete.
  4. Dive right back into the project you were working knowing the epiphany you just had is safely locked away and won’t be lost.
  5. Use visualization and self talk to restart the project and regain your energy and commitment.

Finish that project. Everyone loves and respects those who do what they say, and follow-through on their dreams and ideas.

Dream big, but finish!

Kelly Croy is a chalk artist and professional speaker. His presentations have entertained and amazed audiences across the nation including corporations, schools, churches, conferences, and wherever people come together to be entertained and improve their lives. Please consider booking Kelly for your next event.

Please visit Kelly’s website to book him  for your next event.

www.kellycroy.com

info@kellycroy.com

1-800-831-4825

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Create a Monthly Billing Statement for Your Goals!

My recent natural gas bill arrived. While bills are my least favorite piece of correspondence each month, I have to admit the helpfulness of the statement. It included a nice graph of my usage over the last year.  It let me know how much I have paid and what I owe. Interestingly enough, it even predicted my usage for the following month. Each statement serves as a reminder and holds us to a certain level of accountability of what we owe. It lets us know where we are.

Wouldn’t it be great if we received a similar billing statement each month for our goals?

Seriously! Most people never know where they are with the goals they wish to accomplish. It would be awesome to receive a statement each month telling us how much time we’ve put into our dream, what we owe, where we are at, and what we need to finally finish it.

Well, we can. My billing statement each month is in my journal. I choose the 28th of each month as the due date for my dream statements because I was born on the 28th of July and that’s easiest day for me to remember.  It’s like a private monthly celebration of my life and what I plan to do with it.

You can do the same.

You see, if we don’t review our life goals regularly we get behind, just like we would with a real bill. Unlike the natural gas company, we won’t receive any late notices, but what we owe starts piling up. (Most of the time to a level that makes it appear impossible to accomplish. That’s why people quit.)  Can you imagine how hard it would be if you tried to pay two months at a time, or your entire bill all at once? Ouch! The same is true of our goals and dreams.

Just like our billing statements from our utilities we need to make monthly contributions and track our progress.

So, bust out that journal daily or weekly if you can, but especially on the date of your birth each month. Create a reminder or alert on your phone or calendar if needed.

Write down the big three questions that will drive you toward success:

  1. What do I need to continue doing?
  2. What do I need to start doing?
  3. What do I need to stop doing?

Kelly Croy is a chalk artist and professional speaker. His presentations have entertained and amazed audiences across the nation including corporations, schools, churches, conferences, and wherever people come together to be entertained and improve their lives. Please consider booking Kelly for your next event.

Please visit Kelly’s website to book him  for your next event.

www.kellycroy.com

info@kellycroy.com

1-800-831-4825

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Do You Really Want Your Child to Be a Leader?

I hear parents say it a lot, but I cannot help but to question their sincerity. In my twenty years of teaching and coaching, and my travels as an inspirational speaker and artist, a common theme among parents is the importance of leadership in their child’s lives.  Or so they say.

Do you really want your child to be a leader?

My experience says no. I think most parents confuse leadership with being the star. They don’t want a leader. They want their child’s picture in the paper, the trophy on the mantle, or the name on the record board. They want to tell relatives that their daughter is the captain of the team, that their son is the president of the club, and add another title to the college entrance application. They want their child to be well liked and admired. That is what I believe most parents want.

The truth is that while leadership can often be a truly rewarding experience, it is often a lot of hard work.  Leaders have responsibilities whether their team wins or loses. They are often ridiculed, criticized, and they work well beyond ‘their fair share’ with little to show for it. Leadership is not a popularity contest and it isn’t about being the star.

Do you really want your child to be a leader?

If you are still answering yes then I must ask you what you are doing to encourage that leadership? Do you criticize public leaders in front of your children? Complain about the decisions a leader has made? Do you volunteer in leadership roles? Do you offer your child opportunities to make decisions and take leadership roles? When they do, do you support them? Click to Read More

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The Eight Actions to Take When Faced With a Challenge

Eight actions to take when you are faced with a challenge:

1) Remain confident. Your confidence will serve you well and get you through hard times. You can’t panic or worry. That’s not what leaders do. If you are starting to feel that way it’s time for you to review your assets and visualize a successful outcome. If at all possible find something good about what happened and make solving it admirable and if at all possible, fun.

2) Don’t worry about embarrassment nor take it personally. Time will wear those concerns away, and success will do the same even more quickly. Your energy should be spend on solutions. Worry robs us of our creativity and vitality.

3) Focus on and accept the problem. Don’t look for someone to pin this on nor pretend it’s not actually happening. Leaders aren’t looking for problems, but when one pops up they should be the first to identify and address them. Remember, you’re not really a leader unless you are facing a problem. The rest of the time you are just a person with a title. Greek and Roman myths teach us much and one point is clear: the bigger the problem the greater the hero.

4) Rally the Team. Yes, you are the leader, but you don’t face challenges alone. (Would you accept all of the credit of a success?) Now is the time for you to call your advisors forward and get help from your team and network. You are surrounded by people that can help and want to help. You need to delegate responsibilities and keep everyone focused. You don’t have to be a complete original. Get your team figuring out who has successfully dealt with this problem and see if it may will work for you. Bring them on board as a consultant. Leaders maximize the utilization of all of the resources they have in confronting a challenge.

5) Formulate and communicate the plan. In times of crisis it is best to figure out who needs to know what is going on and inform them. That list must include those that will be impacted negatively despite how uncomfortable it may feel. Be flexible. In times of challenges and crisis you must keep the lines of communication open and be willing to try multiple tactics or new approaches.

6) Take action! Hoping the problem goes away is meaningless. Get involved and get after it. Make certain that you, the leader, are involved in the work, especially some of the unpopular jobs. Doing so will

7) Evaluate your outcomes. What is working? Should you try something else? Are your resources and team being utilized effectively? What do we need to start doing, keep doing, and stop doing?

8.) Repeat steps 1-7.

Kelly Croy is a chalk artist and professional speaker. His presentations have entertained and amazed audiences across the nation including corporations, schools, churches, conferences, and anywhere people come together to be entertained and inspired. Please consider booking Kelly for your next event.

Please visit www.kellycroy.com to book Kelly for your next event, or contact him via email at info@kellycroy.com or by telephone at 1-800-831-4825.