The Ultimate Answers to the 4 Most Frustrating Questions on Achieving Goals

Some people make a joke of goals and resolutions, some hate them, and some obsess over them. There are some, I hope, that are in between these extremes.

Regardless of where you stand, I am sure you would like to improve your life in some areas. Maybe you are unsure whether setting goals and resolutions is worth it. Perhaps you are someone that keeps setting the same goals and resolutions each year and feels frustrated.

Wherever you are, whatever you are thinking, I hear you.  I want to help. I want to share with you some insight to living an amazing year.

So let me share with you now some powerful insight to goals and resolutions:

1. Should I set goals each year?

Yes. You absolutely should set goals. It really doesn’t matter if you do it on New Year’s Eve, your birthday, or the first day of vacation. All that matters is that you set some goals that will hold you somewhat accountable to becoming a better self. If you are new at goal setting, keep it simple and write down just a few.

2. What goals should I set?

Well, everybody is different. Setting goals is really like your future self speaking to you and telling you what to avoid and what to focus on. Goal setting is really a time of reflection on the type of person you want to be. It’s an opportunity to take inventory of your health, happiness, finances, relationships and more. Just like corporations sit down the most important leaders of the organization to plan for the year, this is your time to have a meeting with yourself and share some facts, numbers, goals, and ideas.

I suggest asking my three favorite questions: What should I stop doing? What should I start doing? What should I keep doing? These are powerful questions.

Setting goals isn’t just about you. When you improve, everything around you improves.

3. How can I make goal setting work when it’s failed me in the past, and failed just about everyone I know?

The reason people don’t achieve their goals comes down to one single concept: consistency. Anyone can diet for a day? Some can even go running, once. But to do it every day is the challenge. You have to make yourself accountable for both your actions and inactions.

You need to build habits, daily habits, of consistency. Do a little bit every day. It adds up and eventually you will see results.

To build up your consistency you need to build up your tenacity. Tenacity is simply this fire within you about WHY you want what you want. You build that fire by thinking about those you love around you that will benefit from your actions and suffer from your inactions.

The life you want won’t magically arrive via FedEx or a prescription; it will be built slowly with consistent habits and an unquenchable fire to improve.

4. How can I keep myself accountable?

If you can find an accountability partner in a spouse, friend, or co-worker, then do it. Make sure it is someone who has achieved the results you want to replicate in your life. Make certain they will be able to check in with you daily. If you can afford to hire an accountability partner for one of your goals, then do it. We would all have personal trainers, personal chefs, and counselors if we could afford it. I will be coaching a select few people this year to help them with their goals for 2017. If you are interested please contact me.

The next best solution, I believe, is scheduling an accountability meeting with yourself each month. That’s twelve meetings a year.  Use your birth day number to remember the day you will meet. Since I was born on July 28th, I review my goals and resolutions each month on the 28th. It goes on the calendar just like an important meeting, because it is.

My monthly accountability check-in involves a few important elements. It’s more involved than just reviewing my goals. I review my goals EVERY day. It involves measurement. It involves reality. It involves adjustment. What do I mean by this? Well, if I have set financial goals or fitness goals then this time each month is a review of how well I have done on some sort of measurement scale. I document my progress. I bring others in to validate when needed.  Finally, I figure out what is working, and what is not and readjust my plan. This last step is important because you can’t keep doing the same things if you aren’t getting the desired results. Sometimes I make a call to a friend during this time and talk to them about how my goals are coming along and ask for advice.

Accountability is the trick. How many days in the last thirty did I work on this goal? How much have I gained or lost? How would I rate my commitment over the last month? How can I do better? And again… What should I stop doing? What should I start doing? What should I keep doing?

Set some goals if you haven’t already. Schedule a meeting with yourself once a month on your birth date. Measure your progress. Readjust your process.

If you do act on these, you WILL see measurable gains.

Should I hire a coach? Yes, but only if you can afford it. You can accomplish much with the right resources. (If you are interested in working with me as your coach this year, please send me an email.)

Kelly Croy  • Speaker, Artist and Educator • Invite Kelly to speak at your event!
www.KellyCroy.com   •  1-800-831-4825 
 

It’s Not Just Okay to Dream, It’s Required

I’ve always been a dreamer. Always.
As soon as I reach one goal or accomplishment, I am usually plotting three more.
My dreams are typically out of reach, far fetched, and unattainable. Still, I go after it, reminding myself even if I am off, I’ll be better for having tried. You know what? Sometimes I hit the mark.

I’m a big fan of dreamers too. I have always been fond of inventors and entrepreneurs who set their sights on big acccomplishments. Their epic-sized dreams impact the world and make a difference.

Currently, I am a big fan of Elon Musk. He’s this far-out thinking inventor-entrepreneur that created PayPal, the Tesla’s self-driving electric car, and rocket technology that lands itself on floating, moving barges, and he has been tapped by the United States government to assist on a Mars expedition. He’s a dreamer. His dreams have paid off. Why not mine?

Tesla has a big announcement for tomorrow: First of all, I want to declare that I am a dreamer and I am never, ever, ever correct about product releases. My track record is horrible. Now, with that being said, here is my prediction for tomorrow: a flying car.

Elon Musk is the closest thing we have to a Tony Stark. The guy has self-driving electric cars, has partnered with the USA to send people to Mars in his rockets, and has built self-landing, reusable rockets.

How difficult would it be for this genius to extrapolate our existing hobbyist, quadcopter technology (GPS guided drones Like the DJI Phantom 4), enlarge it, combine it with his existing technology, and show us a prototype tomorrow? My rationale: Musk does BIG things. He would want a flying car. He is not afraid of putting ideas out there.

While tomorrow the company will probably only deliver a software upgrade to the existing Tesla models… I will be dreaming tonight of flying cars.

Here’s your permission slip everyone: it’s okay to dream, so dream big.

The Importance of Celebrating Others

Nobody wants to be around people who just tolerate them.

Everbody loves to be around people who celebrate them.

Leadership is a skill which can be learned and taught, and one of the most important lessons is celebrating the success of others.

It’s a refreshing change in a “Me First” world: First and foremost, celebrating others is not only the right thing to do, it places those who practice this unique and powerful craft at the top 1% of people others want to be around. It’s easy to celebrate others and it doesn’t have to cost anything. In an age where “selfies” are the mainstream of social media, celebrating others is a refreshing change of pace. People are enchanted by those who place others above themselves. The greats practice celebrating others. Oprah, Ellen, Jimmy Fallon are all quick to congratulate and share the success of those they are around. We love it! We love seeing others genuinely happy about the success of others.Click to Read More

Leaders Must Live Authentic Lives

(Leadership Series: Part 3 of 7)

Be Authentic

One of the biggest disappointments I experienced growing up was finding out that a favorite coach was not the man of character that I believed he was. Before I become too critical of this man to emphasize my point on authenticity, let me stress a couple of very important points.  First, I have always been taught to judge a man by his achievements and not his failures, but most importantly not to judge.  Second, this coach was instrumental in my success as an athlete and the formation of my character. Quite simply, I would not be the man I am today without his guidance.  With this being noted, I watched this man’s life collapse because of his inability to live a life of authenticity.  He presented himself to society as a man of character, discipline, and honor, but behaved in a manner contrary to the virtues he taught.  It eventually cost him his credibility, his marriage, and his job.

Invest in Others

My coach identified a talent within me that I did not even know that I had.  He spent time with me and helped me to discipline myself.  He took an interest when no one else did, and even more importantly gave me an opportunity to compete when no else thought I was ready. He held me to a higher standard. He praised me when I succeeded and encouraged me when I struggled.  I thought the world of him. Click to Read More

Attitude: ‘The Flintstone Vitamin’ of Leadership


(Part 2 of 7 on Leadership)

A good attitude is the most important element in leadership. Period.

Even if you acquired and mastered all of the other qualities needed to be a successful leader, yet failed to develop a good attitude, you will fail as a leader. Furthermore, if you possessed only adequate measures of the other leadership traits, yet nurtured a fantastic attitude, you will excel as a leader.  Yes, your attitude is indeed that important!  To put it quite simply, your attitude will make you, or break you.

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” ~ Winston Churchill

 

How can this be?  Well, a good attitude is the Flintstone vitamin of leadership; it automatically boosts all of the other leadership elements. A great attitude can compensate and even overcome a deficiency in another area.  If you are a poor communicator, for example,  that will hinder your ability to lead, but if your attitude is great, it will automatically boost your ability to communicate, and get you through some rough patches until you are able to strengthen your communication skills.

My mom always set out a Flintstone Vitamin for me in the morning. (I always wanted Dino. He seemed to have a lot of energy.)  I remember mom explaining to me the importance of taking the vitamin and how it would help me in Math class, and football practice, in art class, and even playing with my friends. I can’t help but to think of our attitudes acting in exactly the same way.  Whatever I am doing, a great attitude will make me even better at it.  Make sure you take your great attitude with you everywhere you go.

Imagine you had to work beside one of two people who were equally skilled, who would you choose to work with? Whom would you want to date of two equally attractive choices?  Perform dental work on you? And the list goes on.  The winner?  That’s easy. People with great attitudes!

Just like the Flintstone Vitamin, we can choose to take it or not.  It is our choice.  When poor circumstances or misfortune come our way we can choose to get negative and hot-headed, or place our thoughts on a new direction.

For years a banner hung in my classroom that read: Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching? It was one of my favorite posters because it packed so much into one small saying. I learned right away as a teacher and coach that my students and athletes would mirror my attitude.  If I arrived with an enthusiastic spirit willing to learn, so would my students. If I was short tempered and impatient, well, they would mirror that as well.  It’s no surprise then in the work place or in sports that people mirror the attitudes of their leaders, whether they are the CEO or the team captain, the classroom teacher, or the parent.  Attitudes are mirrored.

Poems are a powerful way to illustrate a point with lot of emotion.  My brother mailed me the following poem to me when I played college football.  I guess he wanted me to be a positive role model and leader to his son, my nephew Zach, and other young men.

Little Eyes Upon You

There are little eyes upon you
and they’re watching night and day.
There are little ears that quickly
take in every word you say.

There are little hands all eager
to do anything you do;
And a little boy who’s dreaming
of the day he’ll be like you.

You’re the little fellow’s idol,
you’re the wisest of the wise.
In his little mind about you
no suspicions ever rise.

He believes in you devoutly,
holds all you say and do;
He will say and do, in your way
when he’s grown up just like you.

There’s a wide-eyed little fellow
who believes you’re always right;
and his eyes are always opened,
and he watches day and night.

You are setting an example
every day in all you do;
For the little boy who’s waiting
to grow up to be like you.

Time and time again I have thought back to that poem’s wisdom.  When we are in leadership positions people look up to us in many ways, and we must work hard to set a great example.  That example begins and ends with our attitude.

If you made a list of qualities that you did not admire and absolutely  didn’t want any part, they might closely resemble: laziness, stubbornness, bossiness, selfishness, snobbiness, etc.  And really, what are each of these, but nothing more than a poor attitude.  I tell you again, change your attitude and you will change your destiny.

The quality that we most admire in others has much to do with their attitude.

“Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, tha what other people think or say or do.  It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, or a home.  The remarkable thing is that we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.”  Charles Swindoll

A Confession

One of my friends asked me why I was always so positive. The answer is simple and a very large part to my secret to what success I have achieved.  I see the world in a very unique way.  I view every person I meet, every person I contact, and anyone I come in contact with, as if they are the brightest, kindest, most helpful person I have ever met.  Furthermore, I truly believe it.  I believe that the people I meet absolutely wants to help me succeed and assist me.  You know what?  It almost always works out as I picture it too.

Have you heard about the Pygmalion Effect?  It comes from George Bernard Shaw’s story Pygmalion, better known probably as the movie My Fair Lady.  The Pygmalion Effect has been incorporated into school settings with teachers and students.  When teachers believe they have received the best students, or when students believe they have received the finest teachers, they respond accordingly and excel. (Even when it’s not true.)

I don’t apply this Pygmalion Effect for sheer personal gain.  I have always believe people should be measured on their best day, not their worst, and I know from personal experience that most people rise to the expectations they are held, so why not hold everyone to a high expectation.  Also, it fits with the Golden Rule; I would want people to expect the same from me on our first meeting.

Always forward,

Kelly

 

I am a professional speaker, and I would be honored to speak at your event!

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Educator, Author, Keynote Speaker
Twitter: @kellycroy
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