Category Archives: Leadership

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Do You Really Want Your Child to Be a Leader?

I hear parents say it a lot, but I cannot help but to question their sincerity. In my twenty years of teaching and coaching, and my travels as an inspirational speaker and artist, a common theme among parents is the importance of leadership in their child’s lives.  Or so they say.

Do you really want your child to be a leader?

My experience says no. I think most parents confuse leadership with being the star. They don’t want a leader. They want their child’s picture in the paper, the trophy on the mantle, or the name on the record board. They want to tell relatives that their daughter is the captain of the team, that their son is the president of the club, and add another title to the college entrance application. They want their child to be well liked and admired. That is what I believe most parents want.

The truth is that while leadership can often be a truly rewarding experience, it is often a lot of hard work.  Leaders have responsibilities whether their team wins or loses. They are often ridiculed, criticized, and they work well beyond ‘their fair share’ with little to show for it. Leadership is not a popularity contest and it isn’t about being the star.

Do you really want your child to be a leader?

If you are still answering yes then I must ask you what you are doing to encourage that leadership? Do you criticize public leaders in front of your children? Complain about the decisions a leader has made? Do you volunteer in leadership roles? Do you offer your child opportunities to make decisions and take leadership roles? When they do, do you support them? Click to Read More

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Leaders Must Live Authentic Lives

(Leadership Series: Part 3 of 7)

Be Authentic

One of the biggest disappointments I experienced growing up was finding out that a favorite coach was not the man of character that I believed he was. Before I become too critical of this man to emphasize my point on authenticity, let me stress a couple of very important points.  First, I have always been taught to judge a man by his achievements and not his failures, but most importantly not to judge.  Second, this coach was instrumental in my success as an athlete and the formation of my character. Quite simply, I would not be the man I am today without his guidance.  With this being noted, I watched this man’s life collapse because of his inability to live a life of authenticity.  He presented himself to society as a man of character, discipline, and honor, but behaved in a manner contrary to the virtues he taught.  It eventually cost him his credibility, his marriage, and his job.

Invest in Others

My coach identified a talent within me that I did not even know that I had.  He spent time with me and helped me to discipline myself.  He took an interest when no one else did, and even more importantly gave me an opportunity to compete when no else thought I was ready. He held me to a higher standard. He praised me when I succeeded and encouraged me when I struggled.  I thought the world of him. Click to Read More

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Attitude: ‘The Flintstone Vitamin’ of Leadership


(Part 2 of 7 on Leadership)

A good attitude is the most important element in leadership. Period.

Even if you acquired and mastered all of the other qualities needed to be a successful leader, yet failed to develop a good attitude, you will fail as a leader. Furthermore, if you possessed only adequate measures of the other leadership traits, yet nurtured a fantastic attitude, you will excel as a leader.  Yes, your attitude is indeed that important!  To put it quite simply, your attitude will make you, or break you.

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” ~ Winston Churchill

 

How can this be?  Well, a good attitude is the Flintstone vitamin of leadership; it automatically boosts all of the other leadership elements. A great attitude can compensate and even overcome a deficiency in another area.  If you are a poor communicator, for example,  that will hinder your ability to lead, but if your attitude is great, it will automatically boost your ability to communicate, and get you through some rough patches until you are able to strengthen your communication skills.

My mom always set out a Flintstone Vitamin for me in the morning. (I always wanted Dino. He seemed to have a lot of energy.)  I remember mom explaining to me the importance of taking the vitamin and how it would help me in Math class, and football practice, in art class, and even playing with my friends. I can’t help but to think of our attitudes acting in exactly the same way.  Whatever I am doing, a great attitude will make me even better at it.  Make sure you take your great attitude with you everywhere you go.

Imagine you had to work beside one of two people who were equally skilled, who would you choose to work with? Whom would you want to date of two equally attractive choices?  Perform dental work on you? And the list goes on.  The winner?  That’s easy. People with great attitudes!

Just like the Flintstone Vitamin, we can choose to take it or not.  It is our choice.  When poor circumstances or misfortune come our way we can choose to get negative and hot-headed, or place our thoughts on a new direction.

For years a banner hung in my classroom that read: Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching? It was one of my favorite posters because it packed so much into one small saying. I learned right away as a teacher and coach that my students and athletes would mirror my attitude.  If I arrived with an enthusiastic spirit willing to learn, so would my students. If I was short tempered and impatient, well, they would mirror that as well.  It’s no surprise then in the work place or in sports that people mirror the attitudes of their leaders, whether they are the CEO or the team captain, the classroom teacher, or the parent.  Attitudes are mirrored.

Poems are a powerful way to illustrate a point with lot of emotion.  My brother mailed me the following poem to me when I played college football.  I guess he wanted me to be a positive role model and leader to his son, my nephew Zach, and other young men.

Little Eyes Upon You

There are little eyes upon you
and they’re watching night and day.
There are little ears that quickly
take in every word you say.

There are little hands all eager
to do anything you do;
And a little boy who’s dreaming
of the day he’ll be like you.

You’re the little fellow’s idol,
you’re the wisest of the wise.
In his little mind about you
no suspicions ever rise.

He believes in you devoutly,
holds all you say and do;
He will say and do, in your way
when he’s grown up just like you.

There’s a wide-eyed little fellow
who believes you’re always right;
and his eyes are always opened,
and he watches day and night.

You are setting an example
every day in all you do;
For the little boy who’s waiting
to grow up to be like you.

Time and time again I have thought back to that poem’s wisdom.  When we are in leadership positions people look up to us in many ways, and we must work hard to set a great example.  That example begins and ends with our attitude.

If you made a list of qualities that you did not admire and absolutely  didn’t want any part, they might closely resemble: laziness, stubbornness, bossiness, selfishness, snobbiness, etc.  And really, what are each of these, but nothing more than a poor attitude.  I tell you again, change your attitude and you will change your destiny.

The quality that we most admire in others has much to do with their attitude.

“Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, tha what other people think or say or do.  It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, or a home.  The remarkable thing is that we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.”  Charles Swindoll

A Confession

One of my friends asked me why I was always so positive. The answer is simple and a very large part to my secret to what success I have achieved.  I see the world in a very unique way.  I view every person I meet, every person I contact, and anyone I come in contact with, as if they are the brightest, kindest, most helpful person I have ever met.  Furthermore, I truly believe it.  I believe that the people I meet absolutely wants to help me succeed and assist me.  You know what?  It almost always works out as I picture it too.

Have you heard about the Pygmalion Effect?  It comes from George Bernard Shaw’s story Pygmalion, better known probably as the movie My Fair Lady.  The Pygmalion Effect has been incorporated into school settings with teachers and students.  When teachers believe they have received the best students, or when students believe they have received the finest teachers, they respond accordingly and excel. (Even when it’s not true.)

I don’t apply this Pygmalion Effect for sheer personal gain.  I have always believe people should be measured on their best day, not their worst, and I know from personal experience that most people rise to the expectations they are held, so why not hold everyone to a high expectation.  Also, it fits with the Golden Rule; I would want people to expect the same from me on our first meeting.

Always forward,

Kelly

 

I am a professional speaker, and I would be honored to speak at your event!

Order Kelly’s books, Along Came a Leader and Unthink Before Bed: A Children’s Book on Mindfulness for your personal library.

Educator, Author, Keynote Speaker
Twitter: @kellycroy
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