Speaking With John Hattie, Jo Boaler, Sal Kahn and so many MORE.
I am excited to be a speaker at The World Education Summit. I had three (3) sessions accepted! This is my second time speaking at the World Education Summit. Some of my education heroes are speaking there as well like: John Hattie, Jo Boaler, Sal Kahn and so many MORE. It is an extravaganza of teaching and learning! Such an honor and privilege.
How to Accurately Measure Your Growth as a Leader: the Leadership Matrix
The secret to improving your leadership skills in education
The Leader’s Role in Improving Educational Culture
I am inspired by all of the sharing and learning that takes place at conferences. I encourage my colleagues to share the great things they are doing within our district at professional learning sessions and on enrichment days, as well as speaking at conferences. You learn a lot when you have to write it down or share it to an audience, others learn a lot too, and we all grow. Speaking to groups is one of my absolute favorite experiences in life. I hope to one day speak at your organization.
You Are Not Self-Made, Someone Opened a Door for You
Anything good that has happened in my life is because someone else helped me along the way.
I loved reading “I am Not a Self-Made Man” a foreward written by Arnold Schwartzenegger in Tim Ferriss’s book Tools for Titans, where Arnold credits every success in his life to the opportunities others have given him. He credits and names the mentors from his life. It’s wonderful. Too many people think they did it on their own. Nope. Someone was there.
Sure I worked hard, put in the time, figured some things out, and went the extra mile, but if others had not stepped forward to open doors, give me a chance, a look, an offer, extend an invitation, share me with others, well, I would not have gotten anywhere. None of us are self-made. As my favorite band U2 sings, “Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own.”
The movie Rocky looks to be at first recollection a the story of a man rising from his underdog status, completely on his own, to eventually achieve greatness (a Cinderella story, but she had help too you know) but if we look closer, an opportunity had presented itself. It was the opportunity of another, the opening of a door that allowed Rocky’s talents to play out. Rocky needed the chance, despite how hard he trained, he needed access to become great. He needed the event. Someone opened the door. He walked through.
I was twenty-one years old when Dan Kalo, a middle school principal, gave me a chance to teach. Wow! Who does that? My current position was an opportunity others encouraged me to pursue. I was given another chance. Amazing!
I could tell you the name of the first person to invite me to speak at their event, bought my first painting, bought my first book and every awesome first experience I’ve had. I’ll bet you can too. It humbles me still to think others are willing to do that for all of us.
I’ve had a great life, and while I am still speaking and writing, I realize now, more than ever it is my turn to provide those same opportunities for others, to open doors, to promote, and I do it with great joy and love.
It’s been an amazing experience these past few years to be a part of interview teams to hire new teachers and staff for a school district. The pride in helping someone get their first job… their dream job, is difficult to put into words. I remember.
I love promoting the work of educators and leaders on my podcast and social media and sharing the amazing work they are doing. I remember the pride, and still do, when people shared my accomplishments.
It is an honor to invite others to speak at events and promote their work.
This past summer I bought art prints for our house from an aspiring, young artist.
This week I will be inviting a former student of mine to speak to our staff.
It’s our turn to open the door for others. It’s our turn to give someone else the look, the chance, the opportunity and the attention, and enjoy doing it.
I am so happy people were there for me when I was young and getting started. I’m happy people are with me now helping me at this stage in my life. I remember principals like Marie Wittman being proud of me and offering guidance and encouragement. Now I stand and smile with pride as I see young teachers making a difference and doing great work, and I share it. I am humbled still each time someone shares my work with others now. It’s a great feeling. When someone personally recommends you to another, there really is no greater compliment.
My challenge is for you to ask yourself, “Who you are promoting that needs it? What doors can you open for others?” I’m not talking about family or a friend. I mean that person you hardly know, but you see their value and impact, and you just know it’s right to share, encourage and promote. Find that person and help open a door for them. Make a call for them. Share them out on social media. Give them that chance you were given.
A few years ago I added an important ingredient to my annual planning and goal setting process, the ‘my one word for the year’ theme made popular by writers Jon Gordon, Dan Britton and Jimmy Page in their book, One Word That Will Change Your Life.
The concept from the book is that the properly chosen word can summarize our goals and resolutions for the entire year into a single word. A single word allows focus, simplicity, determination, and according to the authors, a greater percentage of success than just making a list. I however do both.
Their book guides you through a helpful process centering around three questions:
What is needed? What’s in my way? What must go?
I have improvised my own method of getting to my own word that works well for me. My method centers around the guidance in the book, my journaling, a deep reflection on the previous year, and listing words that I believe are suitable and choosing among them.
In previous years I have selected such words as: fit, earn, and simplify. The year I chose “fit” my thinking was that my word should center around physical and financial fitness. Fit to serve my family and my colleagues. Mentally fit to take on challenges and stress. The year I chose “earn” it was in similar thinking. Earn the rights to the titles I have in my life as a father, husband, work title, as well as the titles in my life I wish I had, like bestseller, international speaker, among others. I was also thinking along the lines of ‘earn’ the right to run a race, earn the vacation, earn the things I want in my life. The year I chose “simplify” is the year I believe things really changed because I started to think about an improved approach to doing things. The word simplify offered a new approach to life’s tasks; I was to keep things simple and therefore anything could be started and worked on. (Now that I think of it, one year I had the word “Finish” as my word for the year, and that was the year I published Unthink Before Bed, my children’s book on mindfulness and anxiety.) I think you can understand how the one word works from the examples above quite well. It’s living the word in your mind and actions.
This year I believe I have chosen the perfect ‘my one word’ for the year 2023. As I look back at quite a few years and examine what has been missing from my life, and where things went wrong, and what I really need to do to live a good life, I wrote down a good quarter of a page of words that would serve me well, but one word truly stood out and summed up all that I need to do.
My one word for 2023 is the word “ENJOY” because that is truly what I need in my life. While I am fun onstage, in my writing, and certainly have fun with coworkers and family, quite often in my thinking, planning, execution, and alone time, I become a little too serious. Hey, these are not easy to share and confess, but it’s true. This is probably the biggest area I need to work on. I have a bad habit of overthinking and over planning. So, 2023 is going to be the year of ENJOY.
I will:
ENJOY a workout (rather than demand a rigid and formal routine.)
ENJOY my job (rather than stress over what needs to get finished.)
ENJOY the moment (rather than being worried about the past or being anxious about the future.)
ENJOY starting the day (rather than beginning with anxiety).
ENJOY being me (rather than worry about what others think.)
ENJOY my family (rather than trying to do a multitude of tasks all the time.)
ENJOY life.
You get it.
I like the verb of enjoy over the noun of enjoyment. I can only control what I do. I can try.
I’m really excited about my one word, and I can share that in these first 15 days, while they haven’t been perfect, I have noticed a real change in every area. I’m not hyper focused on consistency but rather what I can do in the present moment. My focus is on the now rather that past or future. When I experience a feeling I don’t like, I literally do a recalibration and examine my one word in the moment. “How can I enjoy this task, this moment, this challenge or this time?” It’s working.
My one word for the year, or even previous years, may be of help to you, take it, but I recommend you choosing your one word with intention and reflection, if you like and choose this approach. Your one word needs to serve you, uniquely. You may need a more militant word where I at this point in my life need a softer and kinder word.
I enjoyed sharing these thoughts with you and hope they serve you on your journey to designing and living a better life.
I hope you give the one word of the year a spin and leave your thoughts in the comments below.
“What measures can I use to prioritize the dozen areas of my life I am passionate about? There are so many projects in which I long to go full speed ahead. However, I have only so much gas and horsepower.” ~Devon
This was my reply:
A balanced life? Hmmmm…
I wish I knew that secret but I will share some of my thoughts on this.
I keep a journal. It helps. I track some basic daily habits in a grid.
I write down my goals for the year. I write monthly goals as the months arrive.
I have a daily to-do list of a few items.
There is honestly always leftovers.
I review my goals often.
The problem I have noticed is that some years my goals are the same as the previous year.
That is when imbalance is necessary.
When you want something so badly you prioritize it beyond other areas of your life.
Bodybuilders do this and that is why they look so freakishly awesome. They devote the majority of their day, every day, to fitness. Imbalance.
I do this with writing sometimes. I put everything else on hold (within reason, never family or health) and wage a full, all out siege until the project is finished. I can’t do this every day because other areas would suffer, but sometimes it is necessary.
I think it is important to take the area of our life which has greatest need and focus daily habits to that without surrender.
Then I think you look at your week. On Mondays and Wednesday my priority project will be X and on Tuesday and Thursday my priority project will be Y.
Be kind to yourself. Take your time. You will make it.
One major project a year can be life changing.
Don’t sacrifice your health or family for any goal or project though. I know you know this.
I’m like you. I have dozens of interests. It’s hard. Try to pick a couple to be awesome at, and make a contribution to the world.
Settle for good or okay on the others, or save them for another part of your life.
Having an accountability friend can be helpful. Check in with someone to make sure you have progress.
What do you really want? It can’t be a dozen. Number them in priority. Get clarity on what you really want.
Every time we leave town our problems shrink because our perspective grows.
I had the pleasure this past week to leave town and visit family.
While I enjoyed: hanging out with relatives, good food, and exchanging fun stories, another blessing crossed my mind; it is a wonderful gift to change your location, routine and perspective.
The nine hours in the car wasn’t easy, but my wife and I really got to spend some time with one another. Physical discomfort of sitting for so long aside, there is a genuine importance to switching up your routine and literally getting away from the perspective from which you see the world the majority of the time.
As hard as I try to bring variety and a fresh perspective to my work and my family life, I fall into a routine. I see the same things. I do the same things. I talk about the same things. Most significantly, I observed, my approach to life becomes a bit routine.
Just being on the road allowed me to count my blessings and change my perspective as we encountered people who were: homeless, in distress, in trouble, sour to the world, and challenged in many unique ways. Our family has our own challenges too, but what we saw was a reality of life that we are typically spared from during our work and school week routines. We don’t encounter these harsher realities, or when we do it’s on the news and a bit distant. (Don’t even get me started on how our social media consumption literally and figuratively filters the world into a false ‘magical place of beauty and perfection.’)
We all need a change in perspective a little more frequently.
My biggest takeaway: The problems I thought were problems are not really problems.
I had more fun than I deserved with some amazing family, but I am also thankful for the needed change in perspective our travels highlighted.
Routines begin to narrow our focus ever so gradually until we have a pretty fixed mindset.
Every time we leave town our problems shrink because our perspective grows.
I challenge organizations to encourage visits to conferences and other organizations, even ones outside of their line of work, and to bring outsiders with powerful stories and uniques perspective into your organization. We need to share ideas and takeaways. We must consistently work to expand our perspective.
~Kelly
If you like what you’ve read, please share-out with our friends on social media and tag me. Don’t forget the #LeadEveryDay hashtag. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts.
Today I watched the greatest quarterback in the history of football.
I didn’t root for him, but I did watch in admiration as he accomplished incredible feats with what looked liked effortless precision and flow. He was accurate and smooth. Again, I’m not a fan, but wow!
What I think is most interesting is that despite being the best in his field and of all time, he has multiple coaches. He has coaches! He is the best, and yet he has a string of coaches that work with him every day.
The only thing more fascinating than the fact that he has coaches is his eagerness to be coached. He wants to get better. He goes out and hires his own private coaches too. Again, wow!
We live in an age where feedback is considered insulting and the thought of having a coach in our profession would more than likely viewed as intrusive or embarrassing.
Why?
I think there are certain areas in our lives where we view coaching as elite, as in the case of a fitness coach or nutritionist, and other areas where a negative connotation of coaching thrives as in our professions and perhaps mental wellness.
I think we are getting better with the concept of coaching though. I hope so.
What’s the alternative if we do NOT bring coaches into our personal and professional lives? We decline. We stay the same. We apply personal improvement.
I don’t think any of us want to decline; that’s not acceptable. Staying the same is dangerous, but I fear popular as many people think they are good enough, but I think we can all agree life is about improving and becoming our best for ourselves and others.
Personal improvement is wonderful and should absolutely be pursued daily, but there are limitations to what we can learn through books, courses, podcasts, blogs and videos. These wonderful resources cannot provide feedback and offer the awareness and personalized instruction we need.
Our challenge: How can we encourage a mindset and an environment where we are eager to be coached?
We will not accidentally bump into our best self; we will discover it through choice, not chance, and acquire it through personal and professional coaching.
The Future Focused Podcast: Episode 042 "Three Ingredients to Your Better Self"
In this episode of The Future Focused Podcast, I discuss three important ingredients to your better self.
Getting better does not happen accidentally; it takes intention and some effort. Most people focus on dieting, lifting weights, reading books, budgeting, investing and other important areas, but overlook these very three “doable” daily actions. The results are immediate.
Want to give your child or a child you know the gift of confidence and tools to tackle worry and anxiety? Order my new book Unthink Before Bed. It is a children’s book on mindfulness. It’s the perfect gift and bedtime book. I am so proud of it! It is a very fun read.
Conversations are a key to life, both the conversations you have with others and the conversations going on in your head.
Conversations are essential to any relationship. Even bad conversations are better than none because they keep the line of communication open. Want better relationships? Hoping to build trust? Have more frequent and better conversations.
I converse with others because I love people and genuinely care to learn about others’ lives. Sometimes though I have to muster up some courage to start a conversation with someone who has been cold or perhaps even off-putting in the past. It’s not easy, but I know our relationship will only improve if one of us makes the effort to start. I’m not shy, so most often it’s me, and I never regret it. I never regret starting that conversation. Every single time the conversation is what needed to happen.
Your conversation is also key to the culture of your home, where you work, and the organizations to which you belong. What are you talking about? It’s important to know.
Have you ever noticed some people know just the person to go to in their family if they want the whole family to know? The same is true at work. People start to identify others based on the conversations they keep. We know how others react. We know what they like to talk about.
It’s time to check our conversation. Seriously. What are we talking about? What are we constantly hearing?
Are our conversations friendly, positive, optimistic, and engaging? Are we offering assistance to others with our words? Are we celebrating and promoting the good things others are doing? Are we finding the positive?
Or are our conversations secretive and avoiding the ears of others? Are our conversations pessimistic and negative? Are we avoiding others or challenges at work? Are we often in the midst of gossip? Are we often talking ABOUT the same person? Are our conversations focused mostly on what is broken and not working?
These are important questions because they impact where we live, where we work, and the company we keep. They impact the way we think and feel. I believe they start to bake into our DNA and change who we really are and determine the person we will become.
I’m guilty. I take a walk almost every single day with my wife. Awhile back ago I realized I was starting the conversation on our walks with a similar negative focus. I was venting some frustrations, which would be fine but it was souring our walks. Truly! I had to change the focus. I had to change my tone. I needed to listen more and talk less. My wife is a saint. I don’t want to waste that precious time of the day with her on negativity. That time is precious. When the conversation improves, our walks improve. I occasionally need a nudge. The same is true everywhere in life. Everywhere.
The conversations we have with ourselves are even more important. Self-talk is real, and it’s powerful. I read James Loehr’s book The New Toughness Training for Sports. He studied Olympic athletes and found most self-talk was negative and had a detrimental impact on their performance. He further studied how athletes overcame it with great intention and practice crafting precise phrasings when making an error to maintain control, recover, and improve.
Words have power and influence. We should choose them carefully for ourselves and when conversing with others.
I’m not suggesting that people never vent and authentically share frustration; I’m just recommending we don’t live there and make it our home.
Some people see themselves as the person who points out what’s wrong. They think that this is their special gift to the world. Well, unless there is a solution accompanying it, then it is most likely less than helpful and could be becoming toxic with others.
I am always extra nice to clerks and attendants when I go out because I witness how others treat them. Write often it’s horrible. I cannot imagine being on the receiving end of everyone’s frustration, complaints, and even sighs. I try to make their day.
It is our conversations that strengthen relationships, our jobs, our families, and our friendships.
I encourage you to check your conversation. I’m doing just that. I’m turning the television off when the conversation has been on one topic for too long. I’m changing the conversation with family members when we get in the “what’s wrong with this world” trap. I change the conversation at work if it’s not helping us move in the direction we want to go, and believe me, others have to do it with me as well.
Conversations are crucial to improving the world we live in, the happiness of our homes, and the culture of where we work. We are a part of each. We must help shape those conversations with intention, positivity, solution, and a fun attitude.